It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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