I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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