Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
