Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
