Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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