I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
