Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
