Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
