Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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