trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Randomize
