I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
