she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
