Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
