im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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