shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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