Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
sex in a hospital.. check
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
