Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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