I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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