If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
