How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
