My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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