I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
