Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
