Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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