i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
