at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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