all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
