I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
