My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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