You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Randomize
