Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
