Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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