everyone is single if you try hard enough
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
