It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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