what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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