it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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