There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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