Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
