I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
