that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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