the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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