I'm lost and stupid without you.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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