we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
