just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
