I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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