I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
