Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
