she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
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