I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
