Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
