I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize