Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
