Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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