If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
