I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
