he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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