'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
