If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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