You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
