this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
