didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
