i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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